Day 17: My First Day Off

It's almost 9 p.m., and it's been a challenging day in many ways.

Everyone has to deal with personal dramas, and today just happened to be one of my days. Let's just say that it came out of NOWHERE, as it often does, and I've been having a hard time understanding why it had to happen now (and why it keeps happening over and over).

It's stressful times like these when I want to eat junk. I couldn't tell you how many times I had to fight cravings for crazy amounts of sweets today due to the problem that's come up. That's what I've done in the past when this situation rears its ugly head, as it always does every few months. I either drown myself in food or I shun it for days. Either way, it's not healthy. (and no, I'm not talking about PMS, even though that's what it sounds like I'm describing).

Well, that's not happening this time. I have no control this matter or the people involved, and I refuse to let it take over my will power to be happy and to succeed at the tasks at hand.

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The weird pain in my side is beginning to fade, and I think it's probably just some overworked muscles. I decided to take a break from heavy duty exercise today because I truly think my body needs it. At my usual workout time, I was CRAVING to go do some activity, but I just decided to take it easy this evening and try to sit still for a change.

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Breakfast was small since I knew I'd be eating out for lunch with my pal Craig. I ate a cup of blueberry yogurt and 1/4 of a Kashi Dark Mocha granola bar.

Craig and I lunched at the downtown New York Pizza & Pasta on salad and a slice. This is the first slice of pizza I've had in over a month! I've gotta say that I felt OK eating it. No guilt because I WILL be working it off tomorrow.

My boss made a good point addressing a day of rest to me this morning. Now that I am working so hard, my metabolic rates should be higher, which means that I burn more calories during the times I'm at rest. As long as I don't go INSANE with the horrible foods, and as long as I keep up with my exercising, I should be fine.

Portion control? Yes, please.

I didn't eat the croutons or the huge
chunks of cheese in the salad.

I had about 2/3 of what was left of the Kashi Dark Mocha granola bar as a snack at around 3:00. I probably didn't drink enough water today, though. Probably only about 30 oz.

I guess you could say I had a mini 20 minute cardio workout because I had to hang up some posters around campus. I try to walk briskly when I go around campus, and I have to climb 3 different flights of stairs when I hang posters, so it's a decent amount of time to get my heart rate going.

I decided that I wanted to see Nick this evening, so I made us some dinner at my apartment and brought it to his house to eat. I made some whole wheat spaghetti with low carb Newman's Own marinara sauce with slices of chicken breast and some green beans on the side.

I'm thankful to my friends Carly & Josh for introducing wheat pasta to me a few years ago before they moved to Canada. I had a job interview in Houston at Carly's old workplace, and I went to dinner with our friend Britt at their apartment the night before. Carly cooked a delicious wheat spaghetti & turkey meatball dinner for us, and I have purchased wheat spaghetti ever since. Carly & Josh JUST had their second baby girl yesterday! Congratulations, guys!

Before

Nick & I ate it out of the tupperware like it was a trough...lol
My portion is on the right.

I didn't stay at Nick's long since he had to get back to work, and I needed to work on some stuff at home as well. Again, on the way home, I fought a BUNCH of yearnings to stop at Sonic for a milkshake...or at Market Basket for some ice cream. Luckily, I was able to control myself and I had a tiny bottle of vanilla kefir for dessert instead.  I find it so sad that I run to food when I'm stressed out, but I want to train myself to put that stress towards activity, creativity, and productivity instead.

So here I am blogging, NOT eating. I will not drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream. I will channel these feelings into production, NOT destruction. No matter who it is, or what it is, I know I've done nothing wrong, and I know what I have control over, and that's all I need to worry about.

I could use some prayers, friends. It's an ongoing battle we all fight. Everyone's is different, and no one's is easy. I leave you with these words:

Tomorrow is Day 18. I'm ready.