Day 511: Emotional Issues, The Dreaded Weigh In, & Help Wanted

It's been almost a month since my last post, and I have been terrible. Sleeping late, eating crap, and not moving very much are catching up with me physically and mentally. I've gained back about 6 pounds since my lowest point of 134, and the scale teeters up and down between 138 and 141 lately.

138.8. :(
I know the numbers shouldn't
matter, but guhh I can't help it.

I've had to deal with some personal stuff that has dragged me up and down a lot over the past several years, and I have been able to work through it as best as I can, but there are spurts when I just get completely drained by it, and I don't want to do anything. It's paralyzing sometimes, and I waste precious time dwelling on it. The past couple of weeks were one of those stupid little spurts.

Thankfully, I've snapped out of it, and I feel like I'm on my way back to feeling like I can fight through my anxiety and depression (for now). If I've learned anything about these two horrendous things, they actually DO kind of go away and seem a lot more insignificant with a healthier, more active lifestyle. The hardest part is to get started again and to keep going once you've misbehaved for a month or two.....or six.

Since I'm feeling emotionally better lately, I made myself get up EARLY for once to tackle my workout before work today. I've always admired people who can do this regularly and stick to it because I have never been a morning person (apparently even when I was in the womb), and I've always been more of a nocturnal creature.

I wasn't quite sure about what workout I'd do since I wanted to see if I'd even be semi-conscious at the new seemingly ungodly hour I set my alarm to his morning, but to my surprise, I was alert enough to get out of bed and get to it. I found this light challenge after doing a Google search of morning workouts, and I got to it after I drank a luke warm mug of lemon water. My mom recommended it, so I figured I'd give it a try.

It felt great to be able to do these exercises relatively easily, but I definitely noticed that I've lost a lot of progress since I used to be able to do little workouts like these with no problem several months ago. I was doing Insanity for crying out loud! The morning experiment was a great success, and it felt like a wonderful way to start my day. Here's hoping I can try something more challenging tomorrow!

I had a piece of wheat toast topped with peanut butter and banana for breakfast with a big glass of water. My co-worker Kim and I have started a water tally on the chalkboard in my office so that we can make sure that we stay hydrated during the day! I'll take a picture of it for my next post (which I'm hoping will be tomorrow).

Hi there, tasty sammich thing.

I also recently started exchanging bouncing/balancing on a yoga ball and standing at my desk all day at work instead of sitting in a chair for 8 hours with hopes that I can strengthen my core and not be completely idle for the majority of my day. I'm really enjoying the HUGE yoga ball, which was a lovely departure present from my former co-worker, and occasional yoga pal, Megan. Thanks again, Megan!! Bouncing to my music has helped the workday go by much faster!

I made myself a salad of mixed greens, mango, split cherry tomatoes, 1/2 a Gala apple, one slice of low sodium bacon, goat cheese, chia seeds, and avocado with a light helping of Olive Garden Italian dressing for lunch. I've been making my own salad dressings lately, but I need to try a new one since I'm getting a bit tired of the lemon vinaigrette I've been eating.

These two meals kept me full all day, thankfully! Even through supper! I've only had a glass of water tonight because I'm genuinely NOT hungry, and I plan to eat the same thing tomorrow for lunch since I'm slightly addicted to these salads now. I intend to add baked chicken breast to tomorrow's salad.

It was great because when I got off of work, I was able to do OTHER things instead of worry about working out. I might actually be able to finally fit learning some piano and doing some lettering into my evenings if I stick to this whole morning workout thing!

In other news, another thing that popped up today was that it's now officially Heart Walk fundraising time again!!! Last year, you guys (my friends and family) helped me raise $960 for the American Heart Association! I can't thank y'all enough for your support over the past few years. Thanks to YOU, I've been one of the top fundraisers in the city, and my workplace has been one of the top teams every year that I've participated. THANK YOU!

I know that most of you who've known me for a while understand why this is such an important cause to me, but to those who don't, and who may also happen to be dear friends of Nick's, we lost his wonderful mom to what we believe may have been a heart attack 5 years ago this October 13th. Losing her so suddenly was quite a big wake up call for me in realizing that my family too has had many losses to heart disease and stroke, and that I could have a very high risk of being affected by these things. But the GOOD thing is that these illnesses CAN BE PREVENTED with a healthier lifestyle, which is a huge reason why I started this journey to tinier pants in the first place. Her absence has opened my eyes more to acknowledge my own family's health issues, and she inspired me to try live a better life and to try to help others to do so as well...

Top Right: Nick, his mom Ruth, and me at my college graduation party in 2008
Bottom photo:  The LIT Walkers at the 2012 Heart Walk

My work's Heart Walk Team will also be walking in memory of our late co-worker, Mr. Jim Ferrell, who also died of a heart attack this past March.

I know that financial times are tough lately (OHHHH BELIEVE ME, I KNOW), but if any of you can help me out this year, I'd be ever so grateful that you're willing and able to help me contribute to such an important organization!

Please click on this meter to donate online:

If you don't want to donate online, feel free to e-mail me at melanie.lanuza@gmail.com, and we can make other arrangements! I'll also be selling paper hearts that you can write your name on and hang at LIT for just $1!

Well, the night is passing quickly, and I'm quite tired, but I feel wonderful. I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to try again.

OH, and on a groovy side-note, I'd like to say a GREAT BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NICK'S AUNT CHRISSY!! She has been one of THE biggest helps to Nick (and me) over the past few years, and I'm so happy to know her! Goodnight, all!!

Happy birthday, Aunt Chrissy!