Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 6: The Past is Another Land

Monday, Monday... So good to me....

First of all, GUESS WHO RAN MORE TODAY? MEEE! Elaboration shall come later in the entry! :)

Breakfast was another bowl of Kroger brand Honey Bunches of Oats and some 2% milk. I'll be eating my leftovers of last night's rosemary chicken for lunch today also. I'm really looking forward to today's workout already! I hope I still feel the same way when I get off of work today.

On the commute to work this morning, I started thinking about why I never felt this way about making myself healthy before. In the past, I always had a short term reason why I needed to slim down. Most recently, it's been because of the numerous weddings for which I've been asked to be a bridesmaid, but even then, I never took it that seriously with the exception of my friend Krystal's wedding in 2010. I lost 20 pounds for her wedding, only to gain most of it back within 8 months. We had an excellent personal trainer during that time who worked us HARD and gave us a meal plan. Unfortunately, I cannot afford that kind of luxury now that I'm living on my own, but I'm still using a lot of the tools he gave us, and I'm so thankful that I had that experience with him.

It's ridiculously easy to gain weight back when you're stressed out and don't have the motivation to get going, but it isn't just about slimming down for me anymore. It's about being healthy and taking good care of myself so I can be at my full potential for things that don't concern my weight or my figure. Healthy body = healthier mind, right?

Going back way before my bridesmaiding days, I had struggled with my weight since I was in about 3rd grade. Before that I was thin little kid, but only because I was ALWAYS sick, and I rarely ate. When I finally DID start eating, I think my parents were so relieved that I was getting better that I guess they didn't moderate how much and what. They just knew I was eating, and that was a good thing at that time.

I still remember when I started realizing that gaining weight was an issue in 3rd or 4th grade. My mom had come to my school and taken pictures of my class the last week before summer, and she pointed out one of my fellow classmates. She said, "Anak, please don't ever get that big..." Ever since then, it was a constant bombardment from my uncles..."Hahaha, you're fat." Or my aunts..."Oh, she's just healthy! She'll grow out of it..." I remember when I posed for pictures, my mom would always tell me to put my arms down, even though I was...I was just too wide for them to look like they were down.

In 5th grade, one of my classmates called me "thunder thighs." In 8th grade, the boy I had a huge crush on told me, "Yeah, you're fat..." I've been sucking in my stomach since I was in 4th grade. I even wore a girdle sometimes in high school. It wasn't always easy looking so different from most of my friends growing up. I was always about a foot shorter than my tall, lovely friends, and thank goodness the real ones never made me feel self conscious about my looks. Looking back, I get that kids can be clueless and cruel, and that in the Filipino culture it's extremely commonplace to point out your most obvious characteristics no matter how hurtful it can be.

Memories like those can really bring me down sometimes, but my growing knowledge of health and fitness is definitely empowering enough for me to feel like I can overcome anything. Especially if it's just words.

12:29 p.m.
Just returned from picking up my new glasses. I usually don't like to run errands for lunch so I can save gas, but if I don't want to be stuck doing a late night workout, I'm going to have to use my lunch hour to get things done when need be. I tried doing the early morning  workouts by waking up at 5:30, but I just can't get myself to stay consistent with that schedule, so I've decided to just MAKE time after work to get it done. I've done it before, I can do it again and STICK TO IT. Bam.

I finished my leftovers from Carino's and had a 4 oz container of vanilla Activia yogurt for dessert with 16 oz of water.

No need for an after pic. I devoured this.
7:45 p.m.
I just finished my 45 minute cardio workout at 7 p.m., and I'm EXHAUSTED! I have literally been itching to get out of my office chair just so I could attempt to run more today. I just wish my body were as willing as my spirit! I ran a grand total of 10 minutes today! They were at 2 minute intervals with 3 minutes of rest between each interval, BUT the fact that I ran a total of 10 minutes today STILL makes me smile. GO ME! It might seem a little pathetic to some, but for someone who has been terrified and traumatized by running, I'm happy about it, so don't rain on my parade. Haha! I do wonder now if I could run longer off of a treadmill since I won't have to maintain a constant speed at all times. Looks like I've got a new challenge ahead of me soon! 

Gah, I should have gone for 2:60 and 260...
Again, I don't think these treadmills calculate calories burned accurately. I KNOW I worked way harder today than I have the past couple of times I used the treadmills and my past entries showed that I burned 300 calories even though I only traveled 2.45 miles and didn't run nearly as much. Lame sauce.

9:11 p.m.
Woo! Dinner was nutritious and delicious. I made myself some skinless chicken filets seasoned with some 0 calorie Emeril Lagasse seasoning with wilted spinach splashed with lemon juice. I added a tomato splashed with 1/4 tsp of Patis (fish sauce) and some salad with 1 tbsp of raspberry hazelnut vinaigrette. 

Nom Nom Nom Nom
Before 1/3 Cup rice, 1 piece of chicken,
1 whole Roma tomato, and 3 romaine leaves
I...was starving. haha
6 has always been a lucky number of mine, so yay for Day 6! I have choir practice tomorrow night in Fannett, so I'm trying to figure out where to do my workout. Will I go to the good ol' H-F middle school track? Will I use my parents' rowing machine? Find out tomorrow on Day 7! ONE WEEK of fitness, here I come!